Dare To Live Without Limits
Your benevolence may find naysayers
A previous column discussed various circumstances where your benevolent behavior may meet with opposition. Even though your intentions are altruistic, there are people who will invariably find fault with your efforts. Ignore these naysayers. Don't allow them to dissuade you. You may have already encountered some of the following situations.
If you take care of yourself, people may accuse you of being selfish.
There is a big difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish. Selfish people benefit at the expense of others. When you take care of yourself, you strive to for a sound mind and body. If you are not ok, you are not in a position to help anyone else.
Suffering is not altruistic. Neglecting your own well being does not make you a better person. Maintaining a healthy mind and body doesn't come at the expense of others. A person is selfish because they don't care about anyone else, not because they care about themselves.
You have an obligation to take care of yourself. Self-destructive behavior helps no one. Being considerate does not preclude one from taking care of their own needs. You can be sensitive to the needs of others while you tend to your own requirements. Although some may call you selfish, take care of yourself anyway.
What you build, someone may try to destroy.
It takes much more time and effort to build than destroy. Some people attempt to elevate their own status by tearing down the efforts of others. They put their energy into demolishing rather than creating.
Destroyers are weak and driven by envy. The accomplishments of others make them feel deficient. They erroneously believe their destructive behavior will give them satisfaction. Yet, although their empty feeling is never ameliorated, destroyers persist in their annihilative actions.
These destroyers are ardently negative. They contribute nothing to society. You have something to offer. What you create is important. Don't be deterred by destroyers. Build on anyway.
If you are honest and trust others, people may try to cheat you.
You can be honest and trusting without being naive. Some may view trust as weakness, but it is not. Dishonest people do not trust anyone. Those who would attempt to cheat you will do so whether or not you are honest.
When you get burned because you trusted someone, you are tempted to distrust everyone. Don't allow devious people to change who you are. Constant distrust leads to paranoia and unhappiness. Distrustful people always feel someone is out to get them.
Dishonest people exist. Deal with them on a case-by-case basis. Don't condemn everyone because of a few bad individuals.
Trust, but be prudent. Be alert and aware of the warning signs that someone is less than honorable. There's no need to trust someone who acts deceitfully. Don't continue dealing with someone who cheated you. Things won't get better. Dishonest people won't change.
Honesty is a positive force. Deviousness attracts deception. People will try to cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you are the best you can be, you may be criticized for not being good enough. You should always strive for personal excellence. Anyone can criticize. Yet, no statue was ever erected for a critic. It's easy to criticize. Accomplishments take work.
People put others down in an attempt to make up for their own deficiencies. It's easier for them to belittle someone else rather than bettering themselves. Don't get discouraged by their behavior. Keep improving in every way you can.
Don't worry about what others say think or do. There are those who will criticize you regardless of what you do. Be the best you can be anyway.
NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. 2024 Bryan Golden