The death of a loved one may cause you to look forward to the holiday season with apprehension. “How will I get through it,” you may wonder. “Should I do what the family wants?” “How can I celebrate the way everyone else says I should when I don’t feel happy or joyous?” are some of the commonly asked questions from grievers around the holidays.

Stein Hospice, located in Sandusky, Port Clinton and Norwalk, offers the following suggestions for coping with what can be the most difficult time of the year for people who are grieving.

• There is no right or wrong way to handle the holidays. Family traditions may continue to be shared, ne ones may be started or there could be a combination of both.
• Be careful of “should.” Only you know what is right for you and your family. Each family member’s needs and wants may be different.

• Set limits as to what you can handle. Let other family members and friends know what you plan to do during this time so they will not be asking for more than you are able to contribute.
• Don’t be afraid to make changes if it’s right for you. Open presents at a different time. Let others take over roles that you may have had. Let someone else bake, decorate, cook, etc.
• Before making any decisions about getting cards, holiday baking or other activities, ask yourself
-Do I really enjoy doing this?
-Do other family members enjoy doing this?
-Is the task one that can be shared by other family members?
-Can we do this a different way?
• Try to get enough rest.
• Plan what you are going to do and break the plan down into individual tasks to be accomplished one at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
• Expressing your feelings and sharing concerns is healthy. Others may be feeling the same way. The holidays and other special times throughout the year can magnify feelings of loss. You might keep the positive memory of your loved one alive by actions such as:
-Donating a gift or money to charity in your loved one’s name.
-Doing something special for someone else.
-Reading a poem or sharing favorite memories of your loved one at a holiday meal
-Decorating the gravesite in a special way.
• Even in times of grief, it is normal to feel fine and good, to have a happy moment. Therefore, if good feelings come at this or any other special time of year, enjoy them. We do not show disrespect to our loved ones when we find happiness in our lives.
• Hold onto hope. Often after the first of the year, people in your life may expect you to be “over it.” We are never over it, but the experience of many bereaved is that eventually they enjoy the holidays again.

For more information about Stein Hospice, visit www.steinhospice.org.

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