In order for things to be right in your world, things have to first be right inside you. Although having a positive attitude and perception is essential, there is an inner you that is the very core of your being.
This is the place where unresolved pain, frustration, stress, and struggle get buried when not properly acknowledged and dealt with. Although you think they are safely hidden away, these emotions still impact who you are and how you feel.
Using a strategy of pushing unresolved issues below the surface creates an ever increasing emotional pressure. As you persist in this process, you adjust to the gradually rising pressure as being normal. However, this is a flawed strategy that inevitably causes the very turmoil you are anxious to avoid.
As the pressure builds, your sensitivity to those buried issues grows as well. You may appear to be a solidly grounded, centered person, but there is an emotional current running below the surface. You can be great at dealing with most of the challenges life throws at you, but when someone or something touches what is supposedly locked away, you become overwhelmed with the rush of an emotional surge.
The flare-up of these buried emotions shakes your world. They are the antithesis of how you see yourself. Although emotional outbursts subside, the pent up pressure does not diminish on its own. Any interspersed lulls are mistakenly interpreted as serenity when in fact they are only the troughs between waves.
Not understanding this process, or the critical need to take immediate corrective action, relegates you to an endless cycle of agony. Frustration and conflicts are the alarms that something is wrong that needs to be corrected.
Deep frustration is only exacerbated by depending on someone else to provide relief. When this happens, your emotional state is linked to other people. You have thus made your well being someone else’s responsibility. If they do not provide the refuge you seek, your frustration level grows. Then, facing the exact opposite result desired, you bury these additional frustrations in an effort to just have some tranquility.
When your peace and happiness comes from within, there is a profound positive impact on the way you experience your world. You free yourself to appreciate other people without becoming dependent on them for your well being or putting unreasonable expectations on them.
The journey to inner peace requires constant awareness and correction as needed. The process of looking inside for happiness is contrary to the way we have been conditioned. Virtually all of our examples growing up teach the external approach.
Any dark emotions lurking below the surface must be identified and properly dealt with. Left alone, they accumulate without an expiration date. Although these emotions may lie dormant for extended periods, the feelings are all too ready to surface.
The journey into your core is one of life’s biggest challenges. You come face to face with long avoided issues. You must make a commitment to yourself to break the cycle and move forward.
When you make mistakes, you have to honestly acknowledge your failings and weaknesses before embarking on the rebuilding process. It is a difficult process but worth every ounce of effort required.
As you progress, you will disperse these buried emotions that have been clouding your perception. One of the many benefits will be an enhanced appreciation of all the things you have to be thankful for. Your inner journey will be one of amazing positive transformation that immeasurably enhances your happiness.
NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at
or write him c/o this paper. 2012 Bryan Golden