“It’s Spring!  It’s Spring!  Time to get the hive in order.  Wake up all you bees!  It’s Spring!”

“Are you crazy, Benny! The robins haven’t even come back yet!  Go back to sleep!”

“Don’t you see, Bert?  We can get a jump on the honey-making, hive development and baby bee production if we get up and out a little earlier this year than our next-hive neighbors.”

“It’s too cold.”

“That’s what’s weird, Bert.  It’s not cold.  And the flowers are all blooming.  Let’s go!”

“Grrrph… alright…”

Flying over the landscape we witness winter’s ravages:  The brown grass, the mud, the naked trees.

“So where are all the damn flowers, Benny?  Huh?”

“Look!  There’s one!”

“You got me out of a cozy hibernation for one lousy daffodil?”

“Well, okay, so the buds haven’t quite opened yet, but we can still work on hive development, right?”

“Look!  A human!  Let’s go buzz him!”

Buzzing is one of Bert’s favorite things to do.  It’s not the part about flying directly into a human’s face that excited him.  It was all that dancing and swatting a human does after having been buzzed.

There was something different about this particular human, though.  He was carrying something big.  He raised it, pointed it at a squirrel and projected a mighty stream of water in its direction.  The squirrel dived for cover.

It was a high-powered squirt gun.  Wow… We don’t usually encounter this type of advanced weaponry until at least June.

Before I could warn Bert, he was already in buzzing formation and had a lock on his target.

It was a successful buzz as the human danced and swatted to the unholy glee of Bert, but then… the weapon was locked and loaded and aimed at my friend.

It was time for me to go in.  I buzzed past the little human’s right ear just as he pulled the trigger.  The shot went wide and Bert escaped the fierce onslaught.  The water rained harmlessly down to the deck on which the human was standing.

Bert, having more brawn than brains, decided to have another go at the fellow to teach him a lesson that, hopefully, would stick with him all summer:

Never mess with bees.

Bert took a test fly, high above the human, scoping out the situation.  The boy fired straight up and the water came straight down and soaked him.  I wondered how prudent it was to make the half-man mad.  As the human took a bead on my friend once more, I flew into action again.

“Bzzzzzz!”

The squirt gun went flying.  I dodged a flurry of flailing hands and arms and then the funniest thing happened…

The water had made the deck so slippery and the human’s feet were moving so rapidly that, after his flight instinct kicked in, the momentum literally floored him.

One minute he was on his feet doing the whole dancing and swatting thing.  The next, he was flat on his back with a stunned look upon his face.

With a mid-air victory bump, Bert and I flew away laughing our stingers off.  What a great way to start the season!

Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker.  You can reach Laura at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more info.

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