Can you depend on yourself to find solutions for life’s problems?  Do you believe in yourself?  Do you have confidence in your abilities?  Being able to turn to yourself, and depend on yourself, is an essential component for a successful and happy life.

Looking to others to fix your problems is the opposite of turning to yourself.  Taking this strategy abdicates your responsibility.  It also creates a victim mentality where you believe other people or circumstances are to blame for your situation.

The danger of a victim mentality is that you feel you have little or no control over what happens to you.  Victims feel they aren’t responsible for their destiny.  They believe they are at the mercy of others.

Growing up, we are constantly told what we can’t do.  We learn to always ask permission and seek approval.  This training causes us to develop a dependency on others for our success.  Rarely are we told that we are in control of our destiny and have the capacity to be self-sufficient.

Turning to yourself doesn’t require living in isolation.  Rather, it involves tapping into your internal power to make decisions and solve problems.  You have more capability within you than you realize.  Regardless of the circumstances, you have inside you the strength to move forward and handle adversity.

There are situations in life where it’s appropriate to turn to someone for help.  Another person can guide and assist you, but it is still the power you have inside that will get you through.

There are numerous examples of people accomplishing more than they thought possible when faced with seemingly insurmountable adversity.  The following real life examples illustrate the power inside each of us.

In 1982, Tony Cavallo was working underneath his car.  Although propped up on jacks, it fell on Tony.  His mother, Angela, was in her late 50’s.  Yet she lifted the car a few inches and held it for almost five minutes until two neighbors came over and pulled Tony to safety.

In 2006, 18 year old Kyle Holtrust was hit by a car and pinned underneath.  Tim Boyle, who witnessed the accident, ran over and lifted the car off of Kyle while another person pulled him to safety.

In 2009, Nick Harris lifted a sedan off of a 6 year old girl who was pinned underneath.

In 1983 Tami and her boyfriend were 19 days into a 30 day trip from Tahiti to San Diego in a 44 foot sailboat.  They were hit with a category 4 hurricane that capsized the boat and washed her boyfriend overboard. 

Inside the boat, Tami was knocked unconscious for 27 hours.  Although the boat had righted itself the mast had snapped.  She fought the desire to give up, set up a makeshift mast and sail, rationed her supplies, and sailed 1,500 miles to Hawaii over 40 days.

These examples illustrate the limitless potential possible when people turn to themselves.  Imagine the vast untapped capacity that exists within you.  You don’t have to wait for an extreme situation to tap into it.

On a regular basis, look for opportunities to practice turning to yourself.  It’s OK to start with small issues and move onto bigger challenges as your confidence builds.  As with anything, the more you practice, the better you will get.

Another way to help yourself is to help others recognize their own internal potential.  Show them how much control they have over their life and you will be inspired also.  Demonstrate to others through your own actions and successes.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2011 Bryan Golden

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