You will experience true freedom in your life when you don’t care what other people say, think, or do.  Many of us are concerned how others will perceive our beliefs and actions.  As a result, we adjust one or more aspects of our lives to gain the approval of others.

Our actions are structured based on what we feel other people will think.  This fixation is engrained in our psyche from the time we first learn to understand what other people are saying.  Growing up we regularly hear the following admonitions: “What will the neighbors think?”, “What will your friends think?”, “What will your relatives think?”, and the all inclusive, “What will everyone think?”

It’s not surprising then that we have the tendency to carry these concerns with us for the rest of our lives.  The consequences of this conditioning are far reaching, impacting many decisions.  Our choice of a career, spouse, significant other, where we live, decisions about children, how we dress, and what we think are all influenced by our apprehension about how our choices will be perceived.

Essentially, every decision made is shaped by our concern for what other people will say, think, or do in response.  Since we have been conditioned to do this for most of our lives, we usually aren’t even aware of the pervasive impact it has.

Because of your concern for the opinions of others, you don’t do what you really want to because of the fear of ridicule, rejection, or criticism.  You may have even thought it’s easier to do things a certain way rather than have to deal with any flak from others.

True freedom entails cutting loose from your concern about how others will react.  Your likes, dislikes and, desires are unique to you.  Your happiness will be compromised when you attempt to meet the expectations of others.  You will suffer in your attempt to please someone else.  Often, in spite of all of your efforts, the other person will still be critical of you.

How many people are actually concerned with what you think about them?  It’s probably few if any.  So why should you be concerned about what they think?  In the long and short run, it doesn’t matter what other people say think or do.  What’s really important is that what you say think or do is based on your dreams and aspirations.

As much as it’s nice to be accepted, you have no control over someone else’s thoughts.  If you adjust your actions to conform with what you believe other people think, who do you turn to when you don’t get the results you wanted?  You are the only person responsible for your life and the position you are in.

You don’t have to advertise your plans.  When you do, you invite others to offer their opinions.  Follow your own path.  Make decisions based on your goals.  Take action that moves you closer to your objectives.

It doesn’t matter if you are criticized.  Whether or not someone agrees with you is irrelevant.  All men and women throughout history who have attained their goals have done so in spite of what others thought.

Live life on your terms.  Decide what you want.  Determine the necessary steps.  Take the first step and keep going.  Follow your inner voice.  Tune out the critics who line up to inform you of your pending failure should you maintain your current course.

You can obtain true freedom.  You have to undo your conditioning to be concerned about what others say, think, or do.  Like everything worthwhile, it takes patience, determination, and persistence.  Keep at it.  You’ll be glad you did.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2010 Bryan Golden

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