Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.
-- Albert Einstein

Do you set a good example for others?  Are you proud of your words and actions?  As Einstein accurately observed, setting a good example is the only means of influencing another person.  A major cause of stress is trying to change someone.  It’s hard enough to change yourself.  It’s virtually impossible to change someone else.

Setting a good example isn’t an attempt to change someone.  Rather, it’s showing by your words and deeds what is possible.  Some people will pick up on your example while others won’t.  You have no control over how other people act.

Regardless of how others see it, setting a good example always works to your benefit.  Besides the possibility of influencing others, you attract positive people and situations by your positive actions.

Start setting a good example by always being courteous and polite to all those you come into contact with.  Have respect for and show kindness to others.  Even if you are treated poorly, resist the temptation to react in kind.  I have seen this approach bring a smile to even the surliest individuals.

Maintaining a positive attitude keeps a smile on your face and makes you pleasant to be around.  Don’t be deterred by those who don’t believe in the importance of positive thinking.  There are enough other people who will be positively influenced.

Demonstrate the importance of excellence by being the best you can be.  Don’t settle for “good enough” or mediocrity.  You should be able to be proud of the quality of all your work.  Avoid doing the minimum needed to just get by.

Be honorable, trustworthy, and dependable.  Speak out against injustice.  Be your own person.  Don’t go along with the crowd for the sake of acceptance.  Stick up for your friends and don’t bad mouth others.  Be a beacon of integrity.  There are far too many examples of dishonest and unethical behavior.

Don’t be a fair weather friend who is there only when times are good.  It’s when someone is down and out emotionally that they really need someone to turn to.  Be there for them even if you are the only one stepping up.

Set an example of the importance of accountability by taking responsibility for your life and circumstances.  Don’t behave like a victim by blaming others.  Don’t whine and complain.  Demonstrate the importance of a can do attitude by taking action.  Exhibit the benefits of developing effective problem solving skills.

Admit when you are wrong and apologize.  No one is perfect.  Continually strive to improve.  Set an example of humility.  There’s no need to brag or show off, especially when it hurts others.  Take advantage of your strengths while endeavoring to overcome your weaknesses.

Stay young at heart in order to maintain a sense of wonder and excitement.  Maintain an attitude of gratitude for all of the good things in your life you should be thankful for.  Don’t take things or people for granted. 

As important as it is to set a good example, it’s essential when raising children.  Your kids scrutinize your every act.  They pattern themselves based on your behavior more than you realize.  The most effective way to teach your children is by your actions.  For many years you are their entire world and they strive to mimic your conduct.

Have your life shine as an example to others.  You don’t have to be perfect but you should always be striving to improve.  Regardless of your past, you can direct your future in any direction you chose.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2010 Bryan Golden

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