Which is more important to you; how you live your life or how others perceive you?  The issue is the difference between influence versus image.  Those who follow a core set of beliefs, based on what they understand to be right, aren’t distracted by how they may appear to others. 

Image conscious people are just the opposite.  They make decisions based on how they will be perceived.  Other’s opinions govern their actions and associations.  Absent is a solid foundation. Their life is based on the reaction of those who see them, rather than a firm set of personal convictions.

It’s easy to become overly image conscious.  Image has become a media obsession.  The news, magazines, newspapers, commercials, and movies all give the impression that image is of primary importance in determining one’s success.

People who have the “right” image are lauded.  Those with the “wrong” image are sensationalized in the headlines.  The inundation of significance of image is so overwhelming that you can’t help but be somewhat worried about how you are perceived.

The concern about image permeates all aspects of your life.  The type of clothes you wear.  The kind of car you drive.  Where you go on vacation.  The type of house you buy, where it’s located, and how you decorate it.  You compromise who you are when you are concerned about how you are perceived.

It is a daunting task to find true happiness when your actions are designed to garner approval and admiration.  Your emotional state is then dependant on what other people think of you.  What do you do, if after all of your efforts, you don’t get the response you were hoping for? 

Furthermore, in spite of any comments made, people generally don’t really care about what you do.  Opinions, solicited or not, flow freely.  Given the fickle, unpredictable nature of acceptance, do you want to always be chasing approval?  Once the illusion of image evaporates, nothing of substance remains. 

Rather than gearing your behavior to impress those around you, why not live by your core values, immune from criticism and condemnation?  Additionally, you will have a lasting impact on those around you by living an exemplary life you can be proud of.

You may receive criticism for not following the crowd.  Peer pressure is often brought to bear when you follow your own path.  Don’t give in.  It’s well worth the effort required to stand firm in your beliefs.  The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Demonstrate, by your conduct, the value of following your inner voice instead of the utterances of others.  By so doing, you will have a life of influencing others rather than being affected by opinions.

Your actions validate the acceptability of not being image driven.  Even though you are only one person, don’t underestimate the power of your example.  Many people feel more comfortable mimicking the behavior of the people they see around them rather than taking a different tack.  When they see that they are not alone, it becomes less stressful to not be image oriented.

When you have a positive influence on another person, a ripple effect begins.  Just as someone will follow your lead, another person will then follow their example.  So you never know how far the ripples will radiate.

When you behave in a way that influences others, you make a real contribution.  Those who lead image oriented lives continually have to alter course as the fickle winds of opinion vacillate.  Since it doesn’t matter what other people say, think, or do, any energy you expend worrying about it is squandered.  Buck the trend, live life on your terms.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2009 Bryan Golden

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