A stress free life is a goal for most of us.  Ideally, each day should be perfect, without any problems.  The reality is much different.  It seems as if there is always something to stress about. 

Often, as soon as we solve one problem, another emerges.  When we manage to handle one situation, a new one surfaces.  Ironically, there is no shortage of information on how to manage, reduce, or even eliminate stress.  Yet, it can feel like a constant struggle to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Our minds become conditioned to look for things to stress about.  It’s almost as if we feel uncomfortable if life is too smooth.  When all is too quiet, we can think we must be overlooking something.  Our thoughts automatically focus on a new issue to stress about.  Even if there is nothing wrong, we are adept at seeking out a troubling perspective.

Sources of stress range from the mundane and inconsequential to major events.  A stain on a shirt, a rude remark from a stranger, or a bad hair day might be sources of anguish.  Even while being stressed, we have all thought, “why am I getting so stressed out by this?”  Still, it’s difficult not to get caught.

There are those people who appear to have the capability to let just about everything role off their backs.  They evoke jealousy as we wonder how they do it.  Granted, only a few have this capacity.  Many others hide the stress they internalize.

It doesn’t matter how others deal with stress.  What’s important is how you handle your circumstances.  You can’t always control what happens but you can control your reaction.  This reality is the key to avoid getting caught on the stress treadmill where you continually hop from one issue to another.

How do you stop finding things to stress about?  Start with recognizing how pointless stress is in the first place.  You can devote as much energy as possible.  It won’t accomplish a thing.  Besides, stress is exhausting and doesn’t make you feel good.

When you find yourself stressing about some issue, decide which of the following categories it falls into.  Either there is some action you can take or the situation is out of your hands.  If there is something you can do, by all means do it.  Don’t sit there and fret.

For circumstances you have no influence over, let it go.  This advice may not be so easy to apply at first.  With practice you will make progress over time.  Be diligent and catch yourself whenever you begin to stress.

You can substantially reduce the number of things you stress over by maintaining a positive perspective.  Constantly question whether the event at hand is even worth your attention at all.  You will quickly find that much of your stress is caused by quickly forgotten issues blown out of proportion by your mental lens.

It’s difficult to stop stressful thinking.  Much more effective is displacing these troublesome thoughts with a focus on the good in your life.  You take many things for granted that deserve regular recognition of gratitude.  Put your energy into identifying them rather than stressing.

You have to act proactively to break the cycle of stress.  You are probably more used to this habit than you realize.  Although some level of stress is a normal part of living, it is usually too elevated.

You will be amazed how much better you feel as your stress level drops.  Break the pattern.  Don’t look for something to stress about.  You will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2008 Bryan Golden

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