The usual meaning of self-control is being able to limit or resist indulgences.  This can apply to overeating, excessive drinking, or anything else that might be considered a vice.  Appropriate self-control also determines your level of success.  Having self-control requires discipline, desire, and awareness.

You need the discipline to act with intention rather than impulsively.  You can only achieve your goals when your life has specific direction.  Those who live impetuously lack focus or persistence.  They change direction on a whim.  Suppose you want to dig a foundation.  A prudent way to construct it would be to first mark its size and location.  Then you would consistently dig in the defined area until you reached the desired dimensions.

However, someone who lacked the requisite discipline would dig a shovel full of dirt in one area and then move to another location and dig a little more.  They would keep digging in different places.  In this scenario, the foundation would never be completed, regardless of how much time was devoted.

As the basis for persistence, desire keeps you going.  It enables you to solve problems and get through adversity.  Desire provides energy when you are exhausted.  If you set out to dig your foundation but don’t really care if it is ever completed, the chances are you will never finish.  Even when you are digging in the correct location, you will get tired or discouraged.

What happens in the event you encounter a boulder while digging?  Without adequate desire, you will give up and move onto some other project.  But if you really want to complete your foundation, you will grab a sledgehammer and go to work on the boulder until it cracks.

Awareness allows you to understand what it is you want.  Without this awareness, you won’t know what to build.  Each person has their own unique likes and dislikes.  In order for you to pick a meaningful goal, you must first understand yourself.

Self-control helps you avoid distractions that will derail you from achieving your goals.  Reaching your destination takes effort and hard work.  It is very tempting to want to engage in those activities that are fun or take less effort.  This is not to imply that you shouldn’t enjoy yourself.  The point is to make sure you don’t allow your behavior to sabotage your success.

Bob has a great job he really enjoys.  His friends like to party on weeknights.  Bob works hard and enjoys unwinding by accompanying them.  He usually goes out with them once or twice a week.  Bob has a lot of fun but doesn’t get much sleep on those nights.  Although he is never late to work, his productivity suffers.

Bob is jeopardizing his future with his current employer.  Without the self-control to avoid staying out too late during the week, Bob runs the risk of missing out on promotions or even losing his job.  All it takes is a lack of self-control in just one area to undermine your future.

In terms of self-development, self-control means taking responsibility for your situation.  You are in control of your life.  There are people who don’t believe this to be true.  But it doesn’t matter.  The principle still applies.  You can chose not to exercise self-control and live by happenstance.   It’s your choice.

It’s never too late to begin exercising self-control.  Even if you have some bad habits or have made some bad decisions, you can begin to get back on track today.  Past behavior doesn’t have to dictate your future.  The sooner you make positive adjustments, the sooner you will begin to enjoy the results. 

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2008 Bryan Golden

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