"What will the neighbors think?"  "What will our friends think?"  "What will the relatives think?"  "What will my coworkers think?"  We all are conditioned to be concerned about the opinions of others.  As a result, before we make a decision we are affected by the reaction of others.

Everyone has opinions and will give them when asked.  Additionally, many people will give you their thoughts without being invited to do so.  Even strangers may share their ideas if they have a chance. 

There is a tendency to avoid making decisions you feel will be met with disapproval.  Without realizing it, you subconsciously suppress goals you believe will be ridiculed.  This results in striving for approval rather than happiness.  Even if you feel relieved when people agree with what you are doing, there will often be an underlying dissatisfaction if you have repressed your own aspirations.

Although it's normal to desire approval, it causes us to be concerned about what other people think about us.  No one enjoys being criticized.  However, looking for acceptance comes with a price.  You will adjust your life to conform to the expectations of others, rather than following your own path.

There is an important exception where the opinion of someone else actually matters.  When you are speaking with a person who is where you want to be, their suggestions can contain valuable information that will help you avoid mistakes.

Conversely, advice from those without legitimate expertise is usually wrong.  If you listen to erroneous opinions, it is virtually guaranteed you will have problems.  You will then become disheartened by the results. 

How many people ask your opinion before they make a decision?  Probably very few.  Since other people are not concerned about your opinions, why should you be concerned about theirs?

One opinion that does matter is yours.  It's not important that other people agree with what you tell them, what's important is that you don't believe what they tell you.  People have many different motives for giving you their opinions.

The opinions offered by others often tend to be negative.  It may even seem as if those closest to you; family, spouse, significant other, or children, can be the most critical.  When you have dreams, people tend to get jealous.  If you succeed then they fear being left behind.  This is a major reason why they try to discourage you.

They could be well meaning but just don't understand your motivation.  They may feel your goals are too risky.  Perhaps they just want you to stay with something that is familiar rather than venturing into the unknown.

The important point to remember is that other people's opinions are based on their perspective, not yours.  It really doesn't matter why their opinion is what it is.  Sometimes the most opinionated people are those who are the least qualified to offer them.

You don't have to change someone else's opinion.  It is not essential for them to agree with you.  Besides, you probably won't be able to change their mind anyway.  What's important is for you to believe in your own ideas.

You don't have to share your ideas with those who are not supportive.  You are not obligated to justify your decisions.  You do have to understand and be comfortable with your objectives and reasoning.

So it really is irrelevant what your neighbors, friends, relatives, coworkers, or even strangers think.  It doesn't matter if you are criticized or ridiculed. You are responsible for your life.  In order to obtain what you want, follow your thoughts.  By listening to others, you will get what they want.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2008 Bryan Golden

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