Are you looking for answers?  Are there things in life you are trying to figure out?  Are you trying to solve problems?  Would you like to take a new direction?  Are there things you would like to change?  Is there a challenge you would like to overcome?

If you are like many others, there are probably numerous questions you would like to have answers to.  However, before you can get the answers you need, the right questions have to be asked.  Questions are most effective when they are stated in a positive manner because they invite proactive solutions whereas negative ones tend to be defensive, attracting excuses and justifications.

You may have questions in many of your life such as your job, career, relationships, family, friends, health, happiness, attitude, goals, money, and self-image.  I mention these categories just to get you thinking.  Modify this list to match your lifestyle and values.  The following are some examples of both positive and negative questions. 

Job.  Negative questions: Why don't I get paid more?  When will I get a raise?  How will I make it through until 5pm?  How much more can I take?  Will I ever get a promotion?  Positive questions: What can I do to increase my value?  How can I become an expert?  How can I become qualified for the promotion I want? 

Career.  Negative questions: How much longer until I can retire?  Why did I ever pick this career in the first place?  How many more hours are there until the weekend?  Positive questions: If I could do anything, what would it be?  What do I have to do in order to change careers?  Where can I learn new skills?

Relationships.  Negative questions: Why don't people like me?  Why is it so difficult to meet people?  Why do I always get into arguments?  Positive questions: What can I do to be more sociable?  Are there more activities I can get involved with where I can meet people?  How can I improve my communication skills?

Health.  Negative questions: Why can't I lose weight?  Why am I always so tired?  When did I get so out of shape?  Why am I always eating junk food?  Will I ever be able to fit into my clothes?  I'm just getting older, what can I do?  Positive questions: What can I do to lose weight?  How can I change my schedule so I get enough sleep?  How can I start getting in shape?  How can I improve my diet?  What are some fun things I can do to be more physically active?

Money.  Negative question: Why don't I ever have enough money?  Will these bills ever stop?  Where does all the money go?  Why is everything so expensive?  Why am I always struggling?  Positive questions: What should I be doing to get a raise or a better paying job?  Am I wasting money?  How can I make better spending decisions? 

Goals and Attitude.  Negative questions: Why can't I figure out what I want to do?  Why am I unhappy?  Will I ever find something I like?  Why do these things always happen to me?  Positive questions: What do I like to do?  What situations make me happy?  Are there changes I need to make?  What do I need to do differently to get the results I want?

Negative questions reinforce problems.  Positive questions get your mind programmed to find solutions.  It's important to ask the right questions, in a positive way.  Don't limit your questions because you are worried about what the answer might be.  With a little practice, you will learn to use questions to find the answers you are seeking.  The result will be a more fulfilling life.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2008 Bryan Golden

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