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The typical assumption is that success is measured financially. Although this may be true for many, in reality there are numerous definitions of success. Each person has their own ideas of what it means to be successful.
This is because each of us has differing opinions of what is most important in life. Here are some of the areas in which people seek success: career, money, family, children, recreation, hobbies, service to others, spirituality, health, friends, happiness, and love. It's rare for someone to try for success in only one aspect of their life. Usually, success is sought in several areas simultaneously.
If you succeed with something that is not meaningful to you, there will be no feeling of satisfaction or accomplishment. If you have any doubts, all you have to do is follow the news to see how many "successful" people in entertainment, sports, and politics engage in self-destructive behavior.
In addition to those who are well known, many other people lead lives of quiet desperation. They appear to have all the standard trappings of success: a big house, new cars, a good job, and lots of friends. Yet they may be unhappy because all that they have is not what they want.
You can't measure your success by what others think you should be doing. You have to follow your own desires. A certain formula for dissatisfaction is to strive to meet someone else's expectations.
Do you know what your definition of success is? If you do, that's great. If you don't, you are not alone. Many people have no idea of what's really meaningful to them. Consequently, they go through life more by chance and happenstance than by design.
Understanding your definition of success is the first step to making your life as rewarding as possible. It's really not hard to do. Just spend some time thinking about what is significant to you. In assessing your feelings, don't limit yourself by your projection of how others will react to your desires.
You will only feel successful when you accomplish your goals. It doesn't matter what your goals are, as long as they are what you want. It does matter that your goals are not malicious or designed to cause harm to others.
Your definition of success can change with time and experience. What you view as successful when you are younger may change as you age. People who are single have a different outlook on life than those who have a significant other. What's important to those with children is different compared to people without kids.
People who survive catastrophic events often find that their view of success can be radically altered. Overcoming difficult challenges also causes a major realignment of what is viewed as important.
So don't lock yourself into a specific definition of success. It doesn't matter what you used to want if it does not now provide you with any satisfaction. You should be ready and willing to adjust your views to match your outlook on life. You can do this only by staying in touch with your beliefs. Assess what is important to you on a regular basis.
You can, and should be successful. Take the time, and spend the effort, to understand yourself. Don't put off accomplishing those goals most important to you. Time goes by too fast.
NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at
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or write him c/o this paper. 2008 Bryan Golden
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