The problem with common courtesy is that it is not nearly common enough.  As people become busier, they tend to not only forgo acknowledging those they interact with, they are often ill mannered.  It’s really a shame.  So little effort is required to smile and be nice.  Actually, it takes less energy to be courteous than to be brusque.

No one enjoys dealing with a sourpuss.  Even if you are having a bad day, there is no reason to take it out on others.  It’s actually very simple.  Just be courteous to everyone you meet.  The result?  You and everyone you come into contact with will feel a little better.

Some will argue the reason they don’t smile is because they are not happy.  It’s hard to be pleasant when you are frowning.  Besides, when you are feeling down, you are susceptible to feeling worse.  You have to act happy if you want to feel happy.  Too much time will be wasted if you wait to feel better before your actions improve.

When you are feeling off, it’s even more important to be courteous.  How you treat others affects how you feel and how your day goes.  Also, bringing a smile to someone else will help you smile as well.

There are many small gestures that produce good feelings.  Here are a few suggestions.  Hold the door open for someone.  Allow another car to pull in front of you.  Let someone with only an item or two in front of you in a check out line.  Say hello to everyone you interact with and wish them a good day as you leave.  Use “please” and “thank you” abundantly.

Everyone wants to be acknowledged and appreciated.  This is true regardless of a person’s education or occupation.  All of us value recognition from those we know as well as strangers.  If you doubt this, think of how you feel when you hold the door open for someone and they walk past you without saying thank you.

Even in situations where you may have the authority to tell someone what to do, it’s so much more pleasant to ask them instead.  For example, a boss can either tell her secretary to “get this typed right away,” or ask, “could you please get this typed as soon as possible, it is really urgent?”  Both approaches will result in the task being completed.  However, bosses who treat their subordinates with courtesy invariably have a much more loyal and productive staff.

Courtesy is also effective with people who expect rudeness.  Whenever you have a problem with a product or service, you will probably deal with a manager or customer service representative.  People in these jobs are used to dealing with a lot of rude people.  As such, they are always pleasantly surprised when someone is courteous. 

You stand a much better chance of getting problems resolved when you are nice and treat people with respect.  There are times when you may be treated rudely.  Don’t react in kind.  Rude people expect a fight.  Don’t give them one.  Being courteous gives you the best chance of accomplishing your objective of getting your problem solved.

There will be times when you are courteous and yet someone else reacts poorly.  Don’t allow mean spirited people to change how you act.  You are not being singled out for their rude behavior.  They probably treat everyone the same way.

Courteous people are happier and more content.  They are more pleasant to be around.  Those who are courteous attract more good things into their lives.  There is every reason to be courteous and no justification for rudeness.

NOW AVAILABLE:  "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book.  Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or write him c/o this paper.  2007 Bryan Golden

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