Dare To Live Without LImits

Bryan Golden

Accept change as an inevitable part of your life

Change is inevitable. Change is OK. Everyone changes and everyone experiences change. You will experience internal and external changes. External changes originate from your environment and the people in it. Internal changes often occur in response to external changes.
It's important to understand the nature of change and how to use it to your advantage. If you resist change, deny its existence or feel guilty when you experience it, you will feel frustrated. When you accept change you can make the most of it while using it as a catalyst to diversify your experiences.
Some people thrive on change while others resist it. Although you do not have to change, external circumstances will change and you will be facing new situations for the first time. Just the process of growing older carries with it a multitude of changes.
As you get older your needs, goals, perception, and understanding changes. Something that a person finds appealing in their 20's may have no appeal when they are in their 40's. Conversely, a person in their 40's might be surprised when they want to do things that they had no interest in previously.
A person in a relationship has different requirements than when they were single. If someone finds they are single after spending many years in a relationship their needs will change also. It's often difficult to predict how you will feel in a particular situation until you are in it.
One of my readers, Alice, 41, relayed her situation and dilemma to me. Since she was young, Alice had wanted to be a doctor and have a career in medicine. She went to medical school in her twenties and finished her residency in her thirties. Along the way Alice got married and had two kids who are now two and four.
Alice said that whereas she used to be career oriented, she now wants to spend more time with her kids. Alice is not as excited about being a doctor as she used to be. She was troubled by her changing sentiments. Alice was wondering if there was something wrong with her that was causing the lack of interest in medicine.
Alice's situation is very common. As she got older and started a family, Alice's needs and focus changed. She was uncomfortable with her changing emotions because they were contrary to her thrust during most of her adult years.
Alice has devoted so much to pursing her career. She had invested an enormous amount of time and money in her training. It's normal for her to be uneasy about now finding herself being pulled in a different direction.
Alice has to accept her changing sentiments. She should not evaluate them as either right or wrong but accept them as the way she feels. One's life is fluid and dynamic. It changes with time and experience. It's OK for Alice to spend more time with her family without feeling guilty about neglecting her career.
There is nothing wrong with change. Your options do not become limited as the years pass. When you experience change you are free to make adjustments in response. Just because you have followed a particular path, for a certain period of time, you are not prevented from altering your course.
Fear of change is anxiety inducing. Trying to prevent it will have as much chance of success as trying to empty the ocean with a spoon. Since change can't be stopped, you will feel as if you are constantly failing if you try.
No one is singled out for change. Change is neither a reward nor a punishment. Whatever change you experience is just the way it is. Do whatever you can to make the best of it. You are free to adapt to the change. People throughout time have lived with change and you can also.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.  2020 Bryan Golden


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